Silver and Gold

Love that U2 song.

Anyways. I have spent the last 4 days watching nothing but Olympic coverage. I record everything, so even if I’m watching it, it’s recording. Just in case I miss something and have to go back to see it all over again. Saturday morning started it all – I watched the opening ceremonies (recorded!) from the night before. I seriously think I was on my couch for 8 straight hours.

I have to admit though, I stayed up last night to watch the women’s gymnastics final and… wow. I seriously was in tears by the end of it. Seeing those girls get so happy and excited because USA JUST WON GOLD IN WOMEN’S GYMNASTICS!!! Jordyn Weiber got a bit of redemption for being knocked out of the all-around – she did freaking fantastic on her floor exercise. I was just so happy for them.

My mind is numb, all I see are people swimming, people flipping in the air, people rowing by… I think I need an Olympic break. Hubby is actually enjoying it though, because he doesn’t care in the least about any of this stuff, so he spends all his time playing Xbox now.

I don’t think I’ll be getting my break from Olympics today though – I have my doctor’s appointment this afternoon with my rheumatologist. After getting poked, prodded, stuck with a needle and peeing in a cup, I’m going to be ready to head home and do nothing all afternoon. Looking forward to it actually.

I do have to get dinner started – tonight’s agenda: fish and veggies. It’s Broiled Parmesan Tilapia. Which is really very good. And only 177 calories per piece. Which is necessary seeing as how I have gained 2 pounds since yesterday. TWO POUNDS!! In a day! How is that even possible? Yes, I know I went slightly over my calorie allowance yesterday, but good lord. I didn’t eat that much food!! I was so disappointed when I got on the scale. Here’s the breakdown of what I’ve been losing:

July 23: started back up on the diet (weighed for “starting” weight which was a couple pounds higher then when I started this way back when)

July 24: lost 0.2 pounds (no total since I was above my first starting weight, sigh)

July 25: lost 0.6 pounds (no total since I was above my first starting weight, sigh)

July 26: lost 0.6 pounds (down 0.2 from initial starting weight)

July 27: lost 0.6 pounds (down 0.8 from initial starting weight)

July 28: lost 0.8 pounds (down 1.6 from initial starting weight)

July 29: lost 0.4 pounds (down 2 from initial starting weight)

July 30: lost 0.8 pounds (down 2.8 pounds from initial starting weight)

July 31: stayed the same

August 1: GAINED TWO POUNDS – again, how is this possible?????!!!!!

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Slacker

I know I said I was going to post more. I also said I was going to post Pinterest tests more. I also said that I was dieting. Well, I’m apparently a full-blown liar.

I’ve actually been pretty busy at work trying to catch up all sorts of past “issues” and so I haven’t had any time to get on and post. And when I get home, the last thing I want to do is sit down in front of a computer!

As for the Pinterest tests, the majority of ones that I was testing were all recipes. And they were not good for you recipes. So, since hubby and I have been embarking on our diet extravaganza again (starting this past Monday), I unfortunately do not have a lot of testing going on. However, I am going to be making a side dish with spaghetti squash that I found on Pinterest, so I can put that one up. It’s supposed to be healthy so it fits my promise to post and it fits the diet!

What’s been going on with me lately? Well, I’ve been sort of up and down the last couple of weeks. Ever since we got back from Chicago, I’ve been eating everything in sight, so I’ve been feeling very down about my body and none of my clothes fit. They didn’t fit before, but for some reason it’s just really been hitting home these last couple weeks. Then hubby’s family was in town, so we were out eating every other night and drinking and doing everything to make me feel like a fat slob. On top of that, we have been cleared to TTC again. We were supposed to wait one cycle after I miscarried before we started trying. Cycle came and went, so we jumped back in. The whole thought of conceiving again makes me scared out of my mind – I really want a baby (I had no idea how much, until we lost the one we had) but what if I have another miscarriage? What if there is something totally wrong with me and I can’t carry a baby at all? DH inisists that if it doesn’t happen, no worries – we will just become that childless couple who spends our money on traveling instead of a child. But I know he would be so incredibly bummed. So would I. The only thing we can do is give it a shot and hope that something positive comes of it!

To add to my fears about getting pregnant again, I started having really weird pains in my right ribcage the other night. They were seriously hurting me – it felt like someone was stabbing me every time I moved or breathed. The the pain started moving to my right arm and up to my shoulder. The pain in my ribcage finally subsided (I still feel a twinge now and then) but the pain in my shoulder is still there and is super intense. Not only does it feel like I’m being stabbed, but it’s a burning feeling at the same time. Oh, and after lunch yesterday, I got massive cramps and shooting pains across my upper abdomen. Seriously, what is my body trying to tell me???

Well, I asked hubby’s mom about my ribcage/arm/shoulder pain (she’s a nurse) and she said that it sounded like something called Chostochondritis – inflammation of the rib cage. So I Googled it (bad idea) and upon reading that, discovered that I most likely have Tietze’s Syndrome: a rare, inflammatory disorder characterized by chest pain and swelling of the cartilage of one or more of the upper ribs (costochondral junction). Onset of pain may be gradual or sudden and may spread to affect the arms and/or shoulders. It says that it is considered a benign syndrome and normally cures itself without treatment. No known cause. Super!!

While reading all my possible symptoms and how to treat it and what causes it (because I can’t just let sleeping dogs lie), I discovered a link regarding Lupus symptoms. 

A little backstory here… about 5 years ago, I was losing a lot of hair. I went to the dermatologist and after taking a chunk of my scalp, they came back with a diagnosis: scarring Alopecia. Meaning, I could potentially lose all my hair and unlike regular Alopecia, mine wouldn’t grow back because the follicle would scab over after the hair fell out.  On top of that, Alopecia is a symptom of Lupus, so they wanted me to go see a rheumatologist to get tested for that. After panicking (not only that I would lose my hair, but that I undoubtedly had some immune disease) I made the appointment for the rheumatologist. Test came back with a high level of ANA in my blood, but other than that I appeared to be fine. I was supposed to go every 6 months for blood work to monitor what was going on. I slacked off and haven’t been there in about a year and half.

Back to the link on the Google site: I discovered that if you have Lupus you actually have a greater chance of miscarrying. And if you have Lupus, you should be monitored throughout your whole pregnancy to lessen the chance of miscarrying. Of course, I flipped out when I read that. What if I have Lupus but don’t know it because I stopped going to the doctor? What if that’s what caused my miscarriage? I immediately called and made an appointment to get blood work done and talk to the doctor about everything that’s happened. DH and I are trying again and I don’t want this to be a possible factor of not carrying a baby to term.

Sorry this post was so long! Congrats if you’re still reading 🙂 – I just had a lot going on lately and wanted to catch up on what had been happening.

I’m also toying with the idea of posting my blog out there for the world to see – trying to decide if I’m ready for everyone to know what I’ve been going through.

What a day.

This is my first post. It will probably be a lot of rambling, a little something that makes sense and probably show that I have no idea how to keep a blog. But I’ll get better. Really. I will.

I woke up this morning with the acceptance of a new day. Yesterday and the day before were excrutiating on my sense of well being, so I thought it can’t get any worse! I won’t bore you with any details of the past few weeks and what has brought my normally calm world crashing to a screeching halt and leaving me feeling utterly useless and unable to cope with daily activities…

But today. Today was gonna be a good day. I had a feeling. I even posted a picture to my Facebook page that said “Today I’m going to be happier than a bird with a french fry.” Apt.

Let me enter a disclaimer here that I am back on my diet. I went off for a bit and I’m sure I’ve gained back all of the 5 pounds that I managed to lose. But I’m giving it another shot and that has a lot to do with my turmoil each day. Hunger pains my ass. Hunger cramps/cravings/need to eat, must have food now pains is more like it.

So anyway. I get up, get ready, go to work. On the way to work, I’m drinking one of my 100 daily cups of water (diet, remember) and I manage to spill half of it in my lap. Does absorption through the skin count as drinking it? I get to work and have an email from one of my project managers that the owner is going to withhold part of our pay app for last month due to lack of certified payroll. All the certified payroll that I previously sent was on the list! So I had to go through and redo everything that I had done already and send it all again. Then my co-worker tells me that she’s handing in her letter of resignation today. She’ll be done in 2 weeks. Fantastic. All the jobs that I would never wish on my worst enemy will more than likely end up in my hands. Capable hands I’m sure, but still. I’ve spoken to someone on the phone about 5 times today regarding the previously mentioned issues that are making me useless. Hopefully after tomorrow this will all be over. I had a salad at lunch and it tasted like dirt. Not just because I didn’t want to eat it, but because I really think they never washed off the dirt. I will refrain from mentioning where I went. I’ve had a multitude of computer problems today as well. Like I said, what a day.

However!! I get to go to the store after work to secure myself some appropriate fixings for the always good, never good for you: spaghetti and oil. This recipe comes from my husband’s family and then instant I tasted it I was hooked. There will never be enough spaghetti and oil in the world. I don’t even want to know how bad it is… considering it’s got onions cooked in cups of olive oil and the pasta is made with more oil and a STICK of butter. But you’ve gotta try it before you say “ew”. It’s so good, my mom (who has never had it) has requested that we make it for her birthday. Guess we better deliver.